Pigeon attack

Sitting in a cafe with Amalia and Joanna listening to Brandy, the dead bodies and looming dentist appointments seem so far away. I'm finally starting to appreciate black tea too – if you ask for tea with milk in Russia you will most likely be met with a look of horror and a slap. Black tea with lemon is the way forward!

I experienced my first bab-related delay the other day. The бабушки (grandmas) in Russia are the stuff of legends – little old ladies dressed in head-scarves with faces like prunes and the barging ability of a bulldozer. I was on the way to school having already missed one lesson and running ten minutes late for the second, I found myself trapped in a crowd of about fifty grannies. I turned left and right, looking for an escape to safety but there was no way out. The only option left was to barge a bab. I mustered all my courage and pushed the least hench looking OAP in an attempt to get through. A tirade of angry Russian followed along with a shove back into the centre of the silver brigade. I was half an hour late to school because of Russia's angry pensioners, so I decided to hang about Sennaya Ploschad for a bit instead of making it into the lesson.

I booked my dentist appointment as well. I was slightly concerned when the receptionist said that the dentist spoke English 'very, very badly', but when I met her it turned out her English was fine. I cannot express how much I hate the dentist, and the idea of seeing one in Russia is not a particularly pleasing idea. However! She had a gander and all should be sorted by Tuesday. Hoorah! I could've been seen straight away but in a state of panic I ran away to feed bread to pigeons with Amalia. We were practically assaulted! To start with there were two or three pigeons, followed by a HUGE FLOCK of every feathered entity in the universe. There were some right tatty old birds, including one that we christened Ruffles McGee, who was too slow to get any bread. Bless 'im. I also accidentally booted a pigeon up the bum trying to shoo them away with my foot which was bare hilare. I've always secretly wanted to do it but have never been able to overcome the moral dilemma (whether to potentially ruin my shoes with poo or not).

This is Ruffles McGee:

I added the bow tie but he was already wearing the hat and holding a cane.

I've also now developed a new addiction... to ukelele! We went for dinner at the lovely Bekki and Martha's flat (which incidentally was ВКУСНO) and I had a little play around with Bekki's ukelele. Sooo much fun. I'm thinking of buying one. Spare change anyone?